Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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