oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
