i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
