That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
