How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
this will be a night to untag.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
