My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
