Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
