Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
