I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
