OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
