Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
