How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
