Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
