Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
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there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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