We're like a lot better than the average bears
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize