Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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