so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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