i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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