My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
why is half of my head shaved?
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