Having a random hookup so left but love u
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
