remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
