I cockslap morals
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
