i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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