He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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