I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
