Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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