It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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