Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
