My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
