I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
