I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
