What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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