Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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