covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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