I'm lost and stupid without you.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
