please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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