i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
