its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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