I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
