I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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