Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
