And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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