dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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