mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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