Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
