eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize