he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
