There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
