i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
be right there i have to get my cape
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
