She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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