There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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