oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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