You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
