she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
