You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
