yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
