I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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