Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
