i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
