Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
