It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
