just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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